I didn’t choose this path, the path chose me.
Once, my partner and I went out kayaking. We kayaked in our two seated kayak around the island and we caught what we called a Naze-O-Mania. We paddled towards the next cape, the next promontory, the next naze, and just as we were about to reach it we were convinced that the beach on the other side of the island is near. It was a time before cell phones with Google maps and navigations. We had no way of knowing how far of the other side is, but those capes promised that they are the peak, the outreach before the other side.
So we paddled on as the sun went up the sky, and then downwards. The peaks of nazes were so promising, so alone, so far outreached that they must have been the turning point, the point where the island turns back upward.
As long as we paddled forward my partner was fierce paddling on, and I said let’s go back, we’ll get in trouble, there will be dark soon. But there would be another foreland before us and we paddled on.
Soon the sun was so low that we had to decide to turn back or push forward. That’s when we met another boat. The man on the boat told us that our goal is just around two more peaks.
Then my partner turned around and we paddled all the way back. When we were on the verge of returning my partner’s hand gave out and I pushed forward to get us to safety. My hands had a grip and I knew we’ll make it back in time, and we did.
Day or two after that we did the whole tour around another side of the same island and my partner paddled until we succeeded while my hands gave out before the fear of deep waters and huge waves.
Now, years later, my partner and I are paddling in opposite directions, me staying at bay, my partner paddling into the unknown. My partner’s hands were always strong paddling towards the unknown, mine at returning us to the bay.
But my bay might change into a new country too. Because all my work branched out to reach people.
If I chose my path, my partner and I would still be kayaking that two seated kayak back and forth, never really reaching the different shores our hearts desired. Staying always on deep waters and huge waves arguing should we go back or forth.
I’ll go back now, to my roots, to do what I always did, writing.
Because, if I chose my path I would be a singer, a dancer, an actor, a designer, a painter. Or at least I would succeed as a writer sooner.
If I chose my path, I would miss out all the turns and all the surprises behind unknown nazes. Now I’m paddling around a new naze, not sure will I succeed or not, but there’s the fun in paddling which makes it worth my while.