xenaOr some young girl will run around in Xena’s skirt.

This is the time when women in their late twenties show up on cougar lists.

Ageism isn’t a thing reserved only for Hollywood benches. It’s a universal thing. It’s rooted in our youth and sex obsessed society. Your worth is measured by your sexy-appeal. Or your ability to procreate.

But it affects women more than men. Because we perceive men more attractive over the years. Maybe it is connected to their ability to procreate even on their death bed.

What is a woman’s worth after her loins dry out? As progressed as we think we are  our biology still perceive value as a generation of new individuals to continue on.

It’s a problem really not just because of fight against discrimination but also for shaping women as a full pledged humans not just maturation chambers.

We strive to overcome our biological imperatives but still fall back into indulging ourselves with images of young personality devoured women whose goal I to look as universal and flawless as possible.

More so we encourage a view on beauty as an empty canvas on which makeup artist and cosmetics products will paint a perfect woman. The one without flaws. And at the same time we celebrate men for their personality, their unique flavor letting them go by unchanged, maybe a bit groomed and nurtured but real.

Being a rebel as I am I fought against the pressure to be my perfect self. I could groom myself to be quite pretty but I chose the luxury of being creative with my looks. When I was younger I was waiting to mature to get out of that youthful mode where people are asking you to put your sexy on to be noticed.

I was convinced that being older will catapult me to that sphere where influential and wise women live Click To Tweet

Those whose words are listened and who were respected for who they were. I admired mature versions of my heroines anyway.

But the world developed around me producing women role models who looked youthful, sexy and appealing in their forties and fifties. And still made them side attractions, those who are still looked at, not listened to. And pictured lives of those sexy women in their maturity still revolved around of getting a man and producing children while they can.

In real life those sexy women managed to produce children without it showing on their bodies. They had to achieve that to keep their careers and it is an accomplishment of discipline.

But what bothers me is that unchanged role for women. Where they can’t mature and say ok I got children, I got a man, what now? How can I contribute some more? Where it seems that a woman’s life is unending circling around a man present or absent one. Obsessing over his needs and his satisfaction.

As a woman in her thirties who gave birth and obtained a man for some time now I found myself still feeling young in this world. Still unwilling to dress on an older lady. But also inpatient to say the words that are on my mind. Inpatient to be listened to, to be debated with.

And faced with ageism I’m fearing that although I was too young for respect till recently that I’ll be too old soon. Because I’m still a bit of a rebel maybe now I’ll put my pretty on when it’s not expected of me anymore. We’ll see in years to come but one thing is for sure. I will try and I will talk, who knows maybe I start a trend of women who are listen to rather than just observed like a display pieces on someone’s shelf.

That’s why I’ll talk on, surely someone will listen in, no matter what is a number of my years, or the size of my dress.