About troubles of being a man
Toxic masculinity is a concept I’ve came across in a very insightful article that explains why Teen Wolf is awesome. They don’t suffer from that kind of poisoning there.
The spoken article (or a study of 10000 words) did enlighten us in what way men of the show aren’t been poisoned by toxin that our society is forcing on men.
Personally I’ve been intrigued by negative of that article which suggested that rest of men out there are poisoned by the notion that they must be strong, though, sexualized and without transparent emotions. That they aren’t allowed to seek out guidance and help, or just comfort in sharing emotions.
Well in observing men I could say that they are influenced by somewhat unhealthy role models. We often speak or read of Barbie dolls and skinny models, of insecurity and pain. But there isn’t similar narrative for men. In fact mere mention of such narrative derives mocking and shameful reactions from men. Because they are men, if they don’t fit the norm they should suffer in silence (as Robbie Williams nicely voiced out).
Crying out, complaining, feeling sad or overpowered just leads to suppression and lack of confidence. Men should be men though and strong. Something like James Bond (one of our first sociopathic hero, but more on that later) cold, cool and unaffected by events, bullets and women. Always ready to perform sexually or violently but never to cry or be soft. Soft is opposite to male.
It’s an irony really that word gentle is wrapped inside of gentleman. When all we see from our male role models is cool and seemingly cold detachment. They are mostly in control of their emotions unless its anger. It isn’t surprising that women are fleeing to fan fiction. The temptation to shake our male leads is too great. When you look at most popular pairs of fan fiction world they are most commonly men with power of some kind. Just to look at oldest fan fiction pairing you get Captain James Tiberius Kirk and Mister Spock. I don’t think you can go more rational than that. Nowadays you have Captain America and Iron Man, two rational men in control that are being thrown into romantic plots daily.
It’s a relief really to see men displaying or silently suffering feelings.
Only feelings males onscreen can display is existential anxiety and mid life crisis that display itself again in chase after young women reaffirming themselves as sexual beings. Emotional comes in just as a joke.
In the end, being treated like a man is as constricting as being treated as a woman.
Being treated like a man means you aren’t free to express yourself fully. Now I don’t suggest that you should running around crying (although it shouldn’t be prohibited , women know how important it is to just cry away at times) but resolving emotions is one key ability that keeps us sane. Little boys cry and i think big ones should be allowed too.