Musings about difference between “male” perspective and “feminine” one, to put it to terms that are common, not to suggest real division between men and women, that line is to blurred to be argued.
Recently I came across an article that proclaimed that fan fiction is mainly read and written by women. I must admit that came as a surprise and a relief to me.
I never really considered it who reads my fan fic’s. I write them for my own purposes (no, not really kinky kind, but more obsessive one, when my favorite characters are made illogical, or the romance (that is shown or not) is ignored, or handled poorly). I write fan fic for the reason I write my own fiction, to understand characters and their motivation, and to see some love on the way.
That being gay love isn’t coincidental. Not because I’m obsessed with anything gay, but because the world is very secluded in anything relate. The consequence being that straight pairings are studied to detail and are very openly there, even if they aren’t really in focus of the show/movie/book, they are well thought through and my spark isn’t risen in fixing discrepancies. Gay ones on the other side are pretended, mostly, to not even be present. That bugs me. The notion that pairing, if it isn’t male female, is ignored even if the trail of their story parallels one that is romantic. It just annoys me.
The fact that all my gay couples are men, so far, is probably inclined with me being fairly straight. And probably that there are too few women in films to be able to pair them with anyone beside leading male, they are separated by narration so there is no real way in putting them together in some convincing way. (Exception being: Isles and Rizzoli, although that pairing is fun to consider, for me isn’t plausible (in the same way I don’t find plausible other leading budy/budy pairings no matter what gender is like Bones/Both), and Xena/Gabriela but their story has been told convincingly, with kiss, confession of love and affection and to the end, grieving and transformation afterwards.)
So back to women that are reading and writing fan fiction, gay and straight, romantic and adventurous. I find it easy to believe that women are willing to put their time and effort into making male oriented, male told and male lead stories into something told from different perspective. Laughing at stories that makes serious, straight men kiss each other and looking wistfully, experiencing love, lust and joy inside stories that usually brings them only pain, betrayal and more trouble while they hold themselves sternly all alone in the world, can be mainly male reaction which should tell us we’re being silly. But I think it tells us that we’re on to something, to something they could be fearing behind their laughter. Maybe we dream of new kind of masculinity in our fan driven dreams, those who have softer side, who love and suffer, who feel, not just decide rationally saving the world for others to enjoy